Walking on Water

In those first weeks after the fire, I had a Peter-like experience.  I walked on water, and I also fell and was saved.

Friends called and offered to bring dinner.  I wondered if I should accept their offers because we have our food storage and we have teenagers that I have taught to cook.  Even if I were needed to work full time to help with the recovery, it could be a good experience for the family to step up and pull together in a united effort.  We should be able to handle it on our own.  As the afternoon went on and I knew a friend was bringing dinner that night, it became a great comfort to know that at the end of the day there would be a good home cooked warm meal.  I didn't have to think of something to make or to tell the kids to make and it wouldn't be something junky like nachos or box mac and cheese (their favorite meals to make).

The Relief Society President (Relief Society is the name of our women's organization) met with me to determine our family's needs that they could help with.  She informed me they would have ladies take turns bringing us dinner for two weeks - she didn't ask, just informed me.  I knew there were others with needs at that time and worried about so much service when we could have made it on our own. (Feeding our family can take a lot of food.)   I have to admit it was a real blessing though to not have to handle it on our own.  I worried if they would send enough food, but many sent enough food that I was able to freeze half for another time to help on future hectic days.  It was a great blessing to have one less decision to make a day and one less thing to do.  It freed me up to be able to help my husband more.  Not knowing how long this trial would go on, or how much I would be helping at the office.  I told her some meals would be nice.  We did every day for a week, I think, and then tapered them off every other day, etc.  as we got into a new normal.  I also thought it would be good to have some play dates arranged for the little ones so that one day a week I knew they would be taken care of and not have Mom and Dad's stress or busyness interrupting their lives every day.

Within the next day or two all my brothers and sisters called me.  I thought my Mom had told them about the fire and they were calling to see how we were doing.  They hadn't heard, they just all had something they wanted to call about.  Even though they hadn't called about the fire originally, it was great to feel supported and loved.  Maybe even a little more loved that they called without even knowing we were going through such an experience.  Some of us don't talk very often and to have them all call randomly right as we were experiencing this, was a testimony of how God can work through little things to show us signs of his love.

The love and prayers poured out on our behalf were amazing.  People would ask me how I was doing.  I could only respond that I felt like I was walking on water.  Something awful had happened.  We were in the midst of a great storm, but I felt peace.  I felt buoyed up.  It felt great to have everyone caring for us in so many ways.  I could not say this was a trial.  How can it be a trial to have everyone caring about you in so many ways?  Praying for us, serving us, expressing their love, support, and concern for us.  That's not a trial.  My prayer was answered:  little and big miracles were happening every day and we were seeing them.

The only time I didn't feel great was when I began to focus on the enormity of what had happened.  If I started to think of how big a storm this was, I would start to think that I should feel more down and then I would.  If I focused on all that had happened, I sank.   As soon as I would start remembering all the blessings and miracles and love we had seen from God and others, I would be back to feeling like I was walking on water.  I had peace and was untouchable by the storm.  Keep your eyes on the Lord and you will see miracles.  This is not a complete list of all the miracles that happened.  There were many more.  Everything has worked out to our benefit.  God does not prevent people from making bad choices that hurt others, but he does put in place the tools necessary to help us through the consequences of their choices.  There were so many evidences that he knew this would happen.  He didn't prevent it, but he certainly carried us through it.  At the end of the year, we asked our children what had been the best thing to happen to them during the year.  Many, including myself, answered that it was the fire.

Trials are Blessings in Disguise

I decided I'd better break this into several posts or it would be too long.  Unfortunately, that also means it will be out of order if you read top to bottom.  So consider yourself forewarned that if you want a resemblance of order, scroll down and read the posts from the bottom ones first. Anyway,..

As I sat in our car watching the fire and dawn approaching, I said a very simple prayer; "Heavenly Father, please grant us all the small miracles and big ones, if there be any that we need; and please help us to recognize them and see thy hand in our lives."  I knew he could make good come of it.  I'd heard others testify of the Lord's hand in their lives during adversity and had no reason to doubt that we would also say at the end of it, "We are better off for having been through it."  A quiet peace filled my heart and I expressed my faith to my husband to my Heavenly Father that I knew good come from this and we would see many miracles and help along the way.  I didn't know how long the ordeal would last and what we'd have to go through to get through it; but I knew we would need help and I knew it would be there.  I also knew there would be the temptation to get down or focus on our problems too much to see the blessings and help, so I prayed to recognize His hand in our lives as the miracles came.

From where we sat in the car that morning, the fire did not look like it had been that bad.  It looked liked we could clean up and move on with a repaired office in just a few months.  The fire marshal, our friend, and the news were all saying it was a total loss though.  Once it was light enough out, I ventured out despite the news crews to get a better view.  I prayed they would leave me alone, and they did.  It turned out the only intact piece of the building was the corner we had been looking at. Everywhere else, there were large portions of roof and walls missing.  It was a total loss.

The first big miracle we would need became apparent when I called the insurance company to notify them.  As I gathered things for the day, I called and reported the fire.  That's when I learned that we had the wrong kind of insurance.  When we purchased the building, it was for our home, so we had a residential policy.  Later, Richard moved his office into the front of our home.  The office grew and so did our family.  Eventually, the office crowded us out.  I remembered talking to the insurance company and telling them about the business and answering questions about how many staff, did he have worker's comp insurance, value of office furnishings and equipment, etc.  I thought I had switched our policy to a commercial policy when we moved out.  They had no record of it.  We needed a big miracle that our residential policy would somehow cover our losses!   Before they would discuss our policy and coverage options, however, we would have to be ruled out as suspects.

Our office building was built in 1894.  When we moved in, it had the original "carriage house," not a garage.  It was condemned, but we had a carriage house for a short while. :) We assumed at first that it had been faulty wiring that had sparked the fire from old electrical wires because the building was so old.  We had never had any electrical problems in the years we had owned it though.  It was quickly determined by the investigators though that the fire had been intentionally set. It had started in multiple places, both upstairs and downstairs.  And there had been a very strange fire the day before.  Thursday morning, our accountant came in to work to find a fire on top of her metal filing cabinet.  It was small and mostly just burning a few papers that were in a file organizer on top of her cabinet.  They cleaned it up, and went on with their day as best as they could, although quite shook up and baffled.  There were no electrical wires or anything that could explain the cause of the fire. That fire together with it burning down that night, and started in multiple locations, point to arson.

The day was filled with planning and answering questions for the fire marshall, the detective, the insurance investigator, etc.  Having an insurance policy, automatically made Richard and I the number one suspects, especially him.  Richard had had a foot surgery in July.  The doctor had expected him to be back to work full time within 4-6 weeks.  Others that had had similar surgery also said they'd been back to work after a month. Richard was not recovering as expected though and still spent most of his days in bed most of the time.  He had just started covering a few court appointments the week before the fire.  Every time he tried to get up and about, it would wear him out for a few days after.  He was rolling around using a knee scooter and had his right foot in a cast from the knee down.  It was obviously very hard for him to get around.  That was the day he'd planned to try to return to work for a half day and to start getting back into the swing of things.  He was pretty worn out though from having been to court the day before though, but was just going to bite the bullet and get on with life.  They questioned him on his whereabouts the day before during the first fire.  It just happened to be at the precise time he was in court making arguments before the judge.  The detective asked if anyone could verify it.  (Only the judge and a dozen attorneys also waiting to make their arguments - could you ask for a better alibi than a court record?)  They questioned the staff who all testified that he had not been in the office more than a couple times for a few minutes to pick up or drop off work in the past few weeks.  They asked when was the last time he had been upstairs and were surprised when he could give an exact date, "not since July 24th."  He had not been upstairs since before the surgery in July.  So the trial of not being able to recover from his surgery, turned into a miracle for us.  They could pretty easily clear him of being a suspect.

Another miracle:  Richard somehow put in a 12 hour day that day at the office!  The day before, being out 2 hours for court had put him back in bed for the rest of the day and was making it debatable if he'd fulfill his goal of going to back to work in the office for a few hours that Friday. I was leaning toward recommending he wait until Monday.

My husband's knowledge of technology (one of his idiosyncrasies - he's a lawyer that understands technology) was also a great blessing to us at this time.  He had the boys starting to "help" him build computers from preschool age.  We set up a phone to use.  With his, a fellow attorney's, and a spare laptop and spare wires and parts he had on hand he set up a mobile hot spot so they could begin checking and clearing their calendars.  Once our boys were out of school, they joined Richard at the office and they all worked to network all our spare laptops and computers to create a new office.  They spent all day Saturday helping too.  There were set-backs and mistakes, but by Monday morning the office was ready to run.  Every employee had a computer to work at and a couple of phones were ready to be used to make calls to notify clients.  By the end of Monday, everyone they needed to contact had been called and mailed the information of the fire and relocation.  A huge accomplishment and miracle. Another attorney that Richard talked to that had been through a fire, said it had taken them months to notify everyone and longer before they had an office open.  Technically, Richard didn't really even miss a day of work.  They were taking calls and operable in a very limited capacity by noon the day of the fire.

 Another evidence that the Lord was prepared for this came from an attorney Richard had hired.  Richard had originally only scanned in major documents for keeping in digital format.  This attorney pushed to change that practice to that they scan everything.  Richard and his staff worried a lot about how much work and information had been lost and would need to be redone, re-requested, etc.  Once he got access to his files though, we had another miracle!  They had backed up automatically the night before, just hours before the fire.   There was very little work that would need to be done to replace lost documents.  Mostly it would just be an effort on the staff to reprint some things.  The Lord had already put everything in place to minimize the damage to us by someone else's bad actions.

They operated out of the temporary office for a few weeks.  Another friend notified us he was leaving his office he had been leasing to relocate to a building he had purchased.  They were able to get into his old office under very favorable terms for our circumstances.  Employees worked not knowing if payday would be delayed, everyone served and helped that could.

The First Few Hours - September 19, 2014

When Christ visited the Nephite civilization in the Americas after his resurrection, he examined their records.  He had more scripture to reveal to them that he wanted them to write.  He also chastised Nephi for not recording the miracles that did occur in fulfillment of Samuel the Lamanite's prophecies about the Savior's resurrection, specifically that many rose from the grave.  We have had so many blessings through a rough year that I know we will be held accountable if we do not record them. I started to record them personally, but feel I need to record them publicly also to stand as a witness that there is a God in Heaven.  He loves his children and answers their prayers.  In fact, many things were put in place for us months and years before we even said the prayers.  He has blessings waiting for all of us, we just have to ask, seek, find and then recognize them.

Friday September 19, 2014

           

            It was 5 am and Richard and I had just woke up few minutes before.  Richard was getting ready to start on his scripture study for the day, but I was going back to sleep. Suddenly, there was a loud forceful sounding knock on the door.  We glanced at the clock again and went together with some trepidation to answer the door.  We could see a red flashing light through the window.  We opened the door and recognized the face of a friend.  He was with a stranger.  Seeing him put us at ease and confused us at the same time.  Did he need our help?  What was wrong?  Was something happening to our mutual friend that he thought we could help with?  Richard, being an attorney, made me think it was something to do with the law.  But what would bring someone to an attorney's door at 5am?  At least it was someone we knew, and not someone there to cause problems or harm.  These things go through a mother's mind when there's a knock on the door at such an hour.  Then the stranger introduced himself as the fire marshal and they gave us the news that the law office was on fire.

           The fire was mostly out when we got there; they were just mopping up and putting out the remaining hot spots.  We watched as the news crews filmed and commented on the fire.  It was odd to see them commenting on something they knew nothing about.  They didn't know us, they didn't know what this meant to us, and yet they were reporting on it and commenting on it.  We stayed away from them, wanting to be allowed our privacy as we attempted to comprehend our loss. At 6am, I got the first text.  It was from a friend expressing sympathy and offering to help.  Her husband had turned on the news while he was getting ready for work.  If an acquaintance hadn't been living in the apartment next door and brought the fire marshal up to our house, her text would have been our first clue that something was wrong.  From that moment on, our phones began to chime with many texts from dear friends who were now up and seeing it on the news, all asking what they could do to help. 

           

            As dawn approached, Richard began calling his staff to notify them not to come to work that day.  One of the attorneys that works for Richard came down to the scene to be with him.  The fire marshal came by to ask questions from time to time.  He, of course, started with his notebook and pen ready to take a list of names of people Richard might have offended.  He put it away when Richard pointed out that he was an attorney.  I offered to draw them a map of the office and they were grateful.  He had planned to wait until city hall opened to get blue prints of the building. 

           It was my turn driving the kids to seminary, an early morning scripture study class for my high school students.  I called a neighbor and friend I knew I could count on.  She often has problems with insomnia, but I am so blessed she is my friend.  She got up and took my boys to seminary and then went back to my house to make sure the kids were ready for school.  Of course, it was picture day. I actually remembered this year and had planned to send the kids looking the part.  Usually I forget and it's the day they run late and get out the door without their hair done.  So she even tried to make sure they looked decent.

            Just before 8am, one of our sons called.  He'd forgotten his dress clothes for extra credit in English and some other things he needed for school. Richard finally was calm enough to try and eat something and to walk away from the scene for a short while.  He and John, the attorney, went to get breakfast at Mr. V's, a family diner a block from the office, and to begin to talk over "what now?". I ran home and took our son his clothes and showered and gathered up some clothes for Richard more appropriate for the day.  I smelled like fire just from sitting in the car watching and standing in the street.  I threw in pillows and laptops and everything he might need to run a grand central station comfortably from the car.  I knew he wouldn't be able to tear himself away from the fire.  He'd been going to take me home to get the kids off to school, but then decided he couldn't leave the scene. Fortunately, our reliable friend did that for me.

           By the time I was done cleaning up and getting the kids's stuff to them and everything for Richard, he had relocated.  Starting at 7 am, attorneys had begun calling offering their conference rooms and/or extra office space and whatever else he might need and support.  Michael Jacques' wife saw the news and told her husband to call and help us.  Richard set up a temporary office in Michael's conference, basement, and a spare upstairs office.  I ran about buying printers, papers, and a few staple office supplies.  Richard, Miguel, and the attorneys began planning for the future and preparing for notifying clients and opposing attorneys.  Judges instructed clerks to do whatever necessary to accomodate them in moving upcoming court dates and deadlines.  Attorneys called and agreed to automatic extensions for as long as necessary.  (All except for one.)

           

           

            

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Teeth

Rachel has lost both her bottom teeth now. She's only 5 and not even in school yet. This is about a year earlier than the boys, but then again she cut her first teeth at 4 months. I had wondered if she would then lose them earlier too. Apparently, yes. She told me occasionally one week that it hurt when she bit. Finally one day I checked and she had not only one, but two loose teeth. The first one was out a few days later and the next one about a week later. She was really scared for me to pull her tooth out. So when it was ready I tried to do as my Dad, "I'm just going to check it...oh, there look it's out." (And he 'checks' by pulling a little too hard and popping it out.) One time I pushed it back a little hard and it hurt so she wasn't about to let me put my fingers back into her mouth. That push made it way too loose to let it go the night though so I told her to show me how loose it was. I coached her, "push it all the way back and just a little bit more to see how far you can get it to go back, now all the way forward, now how far can you twist it this way, what about the other way," and out it came on the twist with no pain or scare. I've been the neighborhood tooth puller at times and pulled the neighborhood kids' teeth for them (and their parents who were worried about them swallowing it, but couldn't convince their kids to let them pull it). However, all my kids prefer to pull their own teeth.  I like this new way I've discovered of no trauma - get them to pull their own teeth method so thought I'd share it.


Coincidentally, just a couple of weeks before Rachel lost her teeth,  Sarah tripped going up the stairs and face (mouth) planted on a higher stair. Both her bottom teeth were knocked loose.  I pushed them back into place and the swelling held.  Of course it happened after 8pm when all clinics were closed; and, of course, the nurse advised me to take her to the ER.  The doc said I did the right thing and that's all he would have done too.  He didn't x-ray and extract them like the nurse had suggested was probably necessary given that they were sticking out at about a 45 degree angle.  Then when Rachel lost her teeth and got money for them, Sarah's world was crushed and all the relief and excitement that her teeth had healed was gone.  1) Because Rachel was different than her... missing teeth 2) because Rachel got money for her loose tooth.  So, now Sarah is eagerly awaiting the day she can have loose teeth again and get to take them out.  I think she feels cheated that she had to have hers put back in.  She might get her wish to lose a tooth sooner than later though.  One of the teeth is grayish now.  It doesn't look right. I'm going to have make time and money to take her to a dentist to get it properly examined and x-rayed.  I'll probably just leave it in if it's dead, as long as it's not causing any problems now or for the future to keep the space and save expense.  We'll see what the dentist says. She can't wait to go.  She wants me to make sure it's one that gives out bubble gum flavored toothpaste like Matthew got at his last cleaning. 

Sarah is always so eager to grow up and do and have and be like the older kids.  It's just going to kill her when Rachel starts school next year.  Until now, there has been the boys/girls division in the family.  It's taken me awhile to convince the girls that it's not just boys that go to school.  They thought that for awhile; because in our family the boys left each day and the girls stayed home.   I told Sarah the other day that she was too cute and I wanted to keep a little girl so I begged her to not grow up.  She said no, she had to grow up so she could read big boy's books.  We still have a ways to go to get her to understand that some of the things the boys do is not because they are boys, but because they are older.  Rachel is old enough to understand that now, but next year is going to be hard on Sarah.  We volunteer in the school now and Rachel sees the kindergartners have PE while I do lunch duty.  It just kills her to not join them now and she can't wait to go to school and have PE. Rachel will be in all day kindergaren too and talking Spanish within a month. (Another thing Sarah won't be able to do, although we frequently read stories in Spanish at naptime.  I've started collecting books in English and Spanish that match so we can read it in one language and then the other.  I'm hoping they'll pick it up some or at least make it easier when they start school in dual immersion.)  I'm also hoping that the boys will take more interest and apply themselves better to learn Spanish when Rachel begins to show them up and speak it. Rachel already tries to make up Spanish words. She calls me "mamas" thinking it's Spanish even though I've told her the correct way to say in Spanish.  I guess she just thinks Spanish words end in "s."