Walking on Water

In those first weeks after the fire, I had a Peter-like experience.  I walked on water, and I also fell and was saved.

Friends called and offered to bring dinner.  I wondered if I should accept their offers because we have our food storage and we have teenagers that I have taught to cook.  Even if I were needed to work full time to help with the recovery, it could be a good experience for the family to step up and pull together in a united effort.  We should be able to handle it on our own.  As the afternoon went on and I knew a friend was bringing dinner that night, it became a great comfort to know that at the end of the day there would be a good home cooked warm meal.  I didn't have to think of something to make or to tell the kids to make and it wouldn't be something junky like nachos or box mac and cheese (their favorite meals to make).

The Relief Society President (Relief Society is the name of our women's organization) met with me to determine our family's needs that they could help with.  She informed me they would have ladies take turns bringing us dinner for two weeks - she didn't ask, just informed me.  I knew there were others with needs at that time and worried about so much service when we could have made it on our own. (Feeding our family can take a lot of food.)   I have to admit it was a real blessing though to not have to handle it on our own.  I worried if they would send enough food, but many sent enough food that I was able to freeze half for another time to help on future hectic days.  It was a great blessing to have one less decision to make a day and one less thing to do.  It freed me up to be able to help my husband more.  Not knowing how long this trial would go on, or how much I would be helping at the office.  I told her some meals would be nice.  We did every day for a week, I think, and then tapered them off every other day, etc.  as we got into a new normal.  I also thought it would be good to have some play dates arranged for the little ones so that one day a week I knew they would be taken care of and not have Mom and Dad's stress or busyness interrupting their lives every day.

Within the next day or two all my brothers and sisters called me.  I thought my Mom had told them about the fire and they were calling to see how we were doing.  They hadn't heard, they just all had something they wanted to call about.  Even though they hadn't called about the fire originally, it was great to feel supported and loved.  Maybe even a little more loved that they called without even knowing we were going through such an experience.  Some of us don't talk very often and to have them all call randomly right as we were experiencing this, was a testimony of how God can work through little things to show us signs of his love.

The love and prayers poured out on our behalf were amazing.  People would ask me how I was doing.  I could only respond that I felt like I was walking on water.  Something awful had happened.  We were in the midst of a great storm, but I felt peace.  I felt buoyed up.  It felt great to have everyone caring for us in so many ways.  I could not say this was a trial.  How can it be a trial to have everyone caring about you in so many ways?  Praying for us, serving us, expressing their love, support, and concern for us.  That's not a trial.  My prayer was answered:  little and big miracles were happening every day and we were seeing them.

The only time I didn't feel great was when I began to focus on the enormity of what had happened.  If I started to think of how big a storm this was, I would start to think that I should feel more down and then I would.  If I focused on all that had happened, I sank.   As soon as I would start remembering all the blessings and miracles and love we had seen from God and others, I would be back to feeling like I was walking on water.  I had peace and was untouchable by the storm.  Keep your eyes on the Lord and you will see miracles.  This is not a complete list of all the miracles that happened.  There were many more.  Everything has worked out to our benefit.  God does not prevent people from making bad choices that hurt others, but he does put in place the tools necessary to help us through the consequences of their choices.  There were so many evidences that he knew this would happen.  He didn't prevent it, but he certainly carried us through it.  At the end of the year, we asked our children what had been the best thing to happen to them during the year.  Many, including myself, answered that it was the fire.